Oh. Oh my God.

I can't tell if that was good or bad, but I damn sure know which one I'm voting for!

Damn!

Really, aside from the florid language, improbable plot, contrived situation and ridiculous Sue ... that was good. Really good. But since the whole story was florid, improbable, contrived and ridiculous, I can't figure out why it was good or how.

Great job! I shall remain stunned and not knowing whether it is because this was awesome or awful!