Things Aren't Always What They Seem

[flying_monkees]

Title: Things Aren't Always What They Seem
Characters: Sylar, Implied Milo/Zach Q
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Crack!
Disclaimer: Heroes does not belong to me no matter how much I wish it did.
Summary: Sylar finds himself trapped in the real world.
Table/Prompt: Crack/Kitten
A/N:  This was written for bloody_beary since she asked for it.  Also written for mission_insane and beta'd by the ever wonderful flwrpwr_vampyre.

 

Zach felt something velvety tap his forehead and he cracked open an eye.  All he could see was yellow-green eyes staring at him and he started, coming full awake.  He glowered at the black kitten sitting on his chest.  “Do you have to wake me up like that?”  He grouched stroking the kitten’s back.  The kitten arched into the touch before swiping at his nose, jumping off of him and sauntering over to the kitchen table.  He sat down, staring at him with those odd eyes, his tail twitching.

 

“Fine, I get it, its breakfast time.  Hang on.”  Zach groused, getting off the couch he’d fallen asleep on the night before.

 

Stretching, he headed into the kitchen, grabbing the wet cat food out of the fridge.  He turned to go to the food dish and nearly stepped on the kitten.  “Gah!  Look out Isaac!”  He stumbled, nearly falling and grabbed the chair to steady himself.  He could swear he saw a smirk on Isaac’s face…

 

Sylar glared at Zach, tail twitching, wishing he could kill him.  He hated being trapped in this body and the minute he had a chance to fix this, he planned on doing exactly that.  He didn’t understand how he’d ended up here, but he wasn’t going to put up with it longer than he had too.

 

Zach sighed, filling Isaac’s dish.  “I’m going out tonight.  Milo and Sendhil called before and asked if I wanted to go drinking.  I don’t, but we have to keep an eye on Milo, he’s been partying too much lately.”  He grinned, scratching Isaac between the ears.  Sylar swiped at him, trying to scratch him, but Zach was too fast and pulled back.  “You’re in a mood tonight.”  He moved off to his bedroom to change.

 

Sylar growled at the closed door, wishing Zach would hurry up and leave so he could try and fix this.  Or at least figure out a way to kill the other man.  Maybe if he did that, he could go home.  It’d been quite a shock to wake up and see his face looking down at him, another all together to find he was a fucking cat!  He walked over to the couch, scratching along the red leather, gouging long furrows down it.  He smirked, walking off, his tail snapping back and forth.

 

Zach came out, pulling on his jacket, stopping as he saw the back of his couch.  “Dammit Isaac!  That’s Italian leather!”  He glared at the cat, getting down on a knee to look at the damage.  “Well fuck.  Now I’m going to have to get this fixed or get a new one.  You’re almost more trouble then you’re worth.”  He sighed, heading out the door.  “One more stunt like that and you’re getting declawed.”  He shut the door to a protesting yowl from Isaac.

 

Sylar fumed.  Zach seriously thought he could take away the only weapon he had left?  He’d like to see him try.  He wandered through the house, trying to find something that might give him an idea of how he’d ended up here and how to get back home.  He’d already figured that he must be in an alternate universe, one where he was nothing but a character on a TV show but other than that…he had nothing.  Well, time to get to work.

 

Hours later Zach and Milo came stumbling through the door, Milo giggling wildly as Zach tried to hold him up.  Zach groaned. God, why did he let Milo and Sendhil talk him into going out tonight, and why did he let Sendhil talk him into taking care of Milo…  “Fuck Milo you’re heavier then you look.”  He said, struggling to carry Milo inside. 

 

“Awww, c’mon Zach, have some fun.”  Milo giggled, which was all kinds of wrong to begin with.  Milo should never, ever giggle. 

 

“I think I’ve had enough fun for tonight.  I’m going to have to have my pants dry cleaned to get the smell of your puke out of them.”  Zach groused.

 

Milo pouted, giving Zach a sloppy kiss on the cheek.  “Sorry man, but I warned you I didn’t feel good.”

 

Zach dragged Milo towards the couch, passing the bookcase on the way.  Suddenly there was a shadow leaping down on him, razors cutting into his neck and head.  He dropped Milo with a grunt, trying to wrap his hands around the little black furball attacking his head.  “Get off of me!  Get him off Milo!”  He spun in circles, trying to grab Isaac.  Milo lay on the floor, laughing his ass off, pointing at a struggling Zach. 

 

“You look funny man!”  Milo held his sides, rolling back and forth, laughing until tears rolled down his face.

 

Sylar bit down on the back of Zach’s neck with his needle sharp teeth, digging his hind claws into his back.  Well, it hadn’t gone exactly as he’d planned, but at least he could do some damage.  Zach let out a yelp, finally grabbing Isaac, holding him out at arm’s length by the scruff of his neck.  Sylar spat and hissed and gave a high pitched little mew as he tried to inflict more pain on Zach.

 

“What the hell was that for?!”  He roared at the kitten, giving him a little shake.  The kitten twisted and turned, trying to bite him.  He glared down at Milo who was still laughing uncontrollably.  “Just for that you can sleep on the fucking floor.”  He snapped, walking with his arm straight out towards the bathroom.  “And you young man can stay in here tonight.”  He dumped Isaac in the bathtub, turning around and leaving, shutting the door.  Sylar glared after him, running to try and get through the closing door, running head first into it instead.  Growling, Sylar backed up and sat down, glaring at the door.

 

In the morning, Zach opened his eyes, blinking at the bright light.  He groaned, rolling over onto his back, arm going across his eyes.  Why did he let Sendhil and Milo talk him into clubbing?  He always regretted it. He jumped up when he heard a loud yelp coming from the living room.  Getting out of bed he stumbled into the living room, cracking up as soon as he saw what was happening.

 

Milo lay on the floor where he’d dropped him last night, but now in nothing except his boxers.  Sitting on his groin, digging his claws into his crotch was Isaac.  Milo was howling in pain, trying to dislodge the kitten but all it did was cause Isaac to dig his claws in more.  Zach tried to muffle his laughter but Milo still heard him.

 

“Get your fucking cat off of me Zach!”  He bellowed as he sat up trying to grab the kitten.  Isaac ducked under his hand and racked his paw down the front of his boxers which caused an even louder yell.  Zach snickered, swooping down to grab Isaac and got bit on the web between his thumb and finger.  Yelping he dropped Isaac down on the ground, putting the wound in his mouth, sucking on it. 

 

Milo snickered up at Zach as he looked to see how badly he was hurt.  Luckily it looked like minor scratches but he was going to be sore for a day or two.  “I think you need to get that cat some psychiatric help Zach, he’s fucking nuts.”  Zach nodded, shaking his hand to take some of the pain away.

 

Sylar sat in the middle of the floor, tail flicking back and forth, cleaning his claws.  He was pissed that he hadn’t done more damage but at least he’d hurt the Peter look-a-like.  He looked up at the two men, sulking.  Next time he’d get them.

 

Comments

[raineblack007.livejournal.com]

Hahaha fantastic!
:D

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

*grin* Glad you liked! Thanks for reading.

[pyjamagurl.livejournal.com]

*giggles* this is so cute and funny! I love it. I love that Sylar is so annoyed at being stuck as a cat and taking out his temper on Zach/the couch/Milo, it is so adorable.

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

*happy dance* I'm glad you liked it so much, it was a blast to write. And poor Zach, he doesn't know what to do with such a destructive little kitten....*big grin*

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

The epic cuteness of Sylar!kitty is too much to bear!

You know I totally love this but I have to comment and tell you officially how much I love this!

I totally would love having Sylar as my kitty. He's so CUTE!

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

LOL I know, even I wouldn't mind a psychotic kitten. Some of Sylar!kitten came from watching Karma around the house. *giggle* At least she's not trying to kill me...I think... *giggle*

I'm glad you liked this so much hun, and thanks tons for your help.

[bloody-beary.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Brilliant!!! But is this only a one-shot? If it's not, then i'll happily cry out for more!

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

*grin* I'm glad you liked it so much. The prompt was just too fun to work with not to write it.

I do have ideas for either a prequel or a sequel or both....*snicker* I wanted to see if this went over first. So I could be persueded.... :D

[destinedtofly.livejournal.com]

oh my god I love this. I literally ended up rolling, laughing. AWESOME.

Totally mem'ing this.

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it, I was hoping that people would enjoy it and have a good laugh. I'm glad that you did. *grin*

*blushes* Wow, I don't think I've ever had anyone mem one of my story's before. Thanks.

[svhreea-24.livejournal.com]

Dude, he sounds like my bro's cat! (glances around carefuly)Awsome story!

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Thanks hun, glad you like it. lol It does sound like your bro's cat! Now that's scary....*snicker*

[eridanie.livejournal.com]

hah! OMG this is to hilarious. Sometimes you do have a pet cat that you totally feel could secretly be plotting to killing you. weighing the options *g*

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

LOL I know, I wonder about my cat sometimes.

I'm glad you enjoyed this and found it so funny, that's what I was aiming for. Thanks so much for reading!

[kcsnedah.livejournal.com]

Please tell me you are writing a sequel that involves Sendhil as the only one that can tame SylarKitty!? Because that would rock.

I loved the "Peter look-a-like" comment. I definitely LOL'd.

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

*big grin* There is a sequel, maybe even a prequel, in the works. Not sure if Sendhil will be involved, but there's always the possiblity.

*giggle* I liked that line and I'm glad someone else did too.

Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed.

[passionstorm.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* Dude, that rocked! Awesome crackiness, bravo!

Suddenly there was a shadow leaping down on him, razors cutting into his neck and head.

The image that gives me just...wonderful! I totally want to try and draw that and put a big *GLOMP!* on the page.

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

Yay!! I'm so glad you liked! It is just way to cracky for its own good. *grin*

*giggle* I love that image. And if you do draw it, you'll have to share! Please?! :D

Thanks so much for reading!

[cazrolime.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I was sitting here kind of meh, and then my friend linked me to this and it MADE. MY. NIGHT. *dies of laughter* Kitty!Sylar is the best thing ever.

[flying-monkees.livejournal.com]

*squee* I'm glad it made your night better! It always makes me do a happy dance when I can brighten someone's night/day. *happy dance*

Sylar!kitty is the best. I almost want one myself. As long as he doesn't try and kill me. :D

Glad you liked!

[anivad.livejournal.com]

ahaha, that was awesome. Thanks!

(belated comment is belated, but I just discovered the wonder of the Heroes Actor/Character Anonymous Kink Memes)